In the best sense, the quality of our work relationships is meant to contribute to an "all hands on deck" mentality where everyone focuses on achieving results. In the worst sense, poor quality work relationships divert attention from results and create unseen "waste."
When thinking about waste at work some familiar tools and methodologies come to mind: Lean Manufacturing and Six Sigma. These and other methods are designed to eliminate waste, increase quality and remove low value processes. The goal is to increase efficiency and output which then leads to a competitive advantage.
Thinking of work "waste" generates images of excess scrap, a partially operating production line that leaves workers milling around, unnecessary steps in a process, excess inventory and more. While the waste that comes from poor work relationships is invisible, it's just as real as the examples cited above.
What Types of Behaviors Negatively Impact Work Relationships?
Too many to list! Much of what we observe is subtle in nature:
Withholding information someone else should have
Acting unapproachable/in a bad mood
Leaving out important details
Looking good by making others look bad
Refusing to work with someone
Hoarding work that should go to others.
Whether we are an observer or directly involved it's normal to react to disruptive or unhelpful co-workers - either through Inward Experience or Outward Response. And both responses lead to waste.
The Inward Experience Response
An example of this type of response is when someone makes a comment that causes me embarrassment. My face will turn red and I'll feel my body heating up seconds before I have processed the awkward moment. My brain does this for me automatically; it is a physiological response I cannot control.
In that moment and for a period of time after, I find myself ill-equipped to think clearly. Brain resources I need for analytical thinking, problem solving, creative ideas, weighing options and more are temporarily unavailable.
I can and will move on but I've just experienced a "power outage." I'm now distracted from the task at hand. I will ruminate over the interaction and think over what I could have done differently to avoid putting myself into the position in the first place.
The Outward Experience Response
The Outward Experience response ties back to the Inward Experience response. Here's an example how:
Bob has a reputation for being "smarter than anyone else in the room" and makes it his business to find as many opportunities as possible to interrupt and discredit others. George was in the middle of talking through an idea with the team when mid-way Bob went into his "self-proclaimed expert in everything" mode.
George gets caught up in his Inward Experience: his idea went unheard and he feels disrespected. He's angry, thinks Bob is a jerk, and is disappointed that he was unable to stand up to Bob during the meeting.
He replays the incident and conjures up scenarios of how he could have put Bob in his place. He begins thinking about what to do next. Here's where the Outward Response begins to reveal itself.
When we feel slighted, jolted or disappointed we can choose to keep our feelings bottled up while we mull them over (Inward Experience) or let them go and move on (if you are the Dali Lama you should be all set).
Usually our Inward Experience moves to an Outward Response. We take action in some way or another. Look around and you will recognize noticeable signals of an Outward Response:
Complaining to others about the incident
Time spent by others consoling the target
Calling in sick for a mental health day(s)
Decrease in energy
Looking for another job
Working around the "offender"
Time spent advising those involved
Depending on the situation some of the above outcomes may be necessary, particularly if the behavior and situation is too toxic to address on your own, it goes against organizational policies and values, or is illegal.
But in some situations it is up to us as individuals to develop the emotional intelligence to address poor work relationships on our own.
Three Ways to Develop Positive Work Relationships
Reinforce positive behaviors and outcomes - Be proactive in letting your peers know when a successful collaboration resulted in a positive outcome (e.g. project deadline met, sales deal closed, etc.). This is much more effective than pointing out past failures and missteps.
Influence - Go out of your way to get to know your peers and build stronger working relationships with them. Be helpful. Ask about the projects they are working on, the pressures they are under. Going back to the Outward Response example above, it could be that Bob feels he has to be a know-it-all because he often gets asked to step in and "fix" projects that are delayed or not running smoothly. Step in and help where you can and that can influence future interactions.
Hunt for opportunities to communicate face-to-face - As much as possible, communicate with peers face-to-face be it a formal meeting invite, popping by their desks for a quick sync or going out for coffee. Not only is face-to-face the best form of communication, it also demonstrates to your peers that they are worthy of your time.
How managers can minimize work relationship waste
You can have a high-performing employee on your team but if this person's behavior and communication style erode collaboration and productivity, it's your responsibility to address it. Observe the working relationships of this individual with his or her peers then ask:
Does this individual's work style impede or speed progress?
Would I hire the person currently in this position today?
Is this individual aware of the negative impact his or her actions are having?
Then sit down with this individual to address the impact his or her negativity has on others. Yes, verbalizing feedback on these kinds of behaviors is difficult...but it's necessary.
Be proactive in addressing poor work relationships
Comparing work relationships to the same principles as Lean and Six Sigma can get us thinking differently about a problem that feels abstract and seems invisible. Poor work relationships and unhealthy dynamics result in waste just as poor manufacturing processes produce waste.
We can choose to view work relationship breakdowns as inevitable and impossible to correct or see the opening: imagining what could, should and can be. Tactfully addressing missed expectations and talking about expected behavior is an opportunity to create a work climate that frees people to focus on results.
Whether you are a leader or an employee, you can be sure that efforts to improve work relationships and interactions will be noticed and appreciated. Look beyond the viewpoint of, "I'd rather not have this discussion with this person" to the benefits even small improvements can make.
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Ten Dad-Friendly Workplaces
When we talk about the quest to "have it all," it's almost always in reference to working women trying to balance a stressful 9-to-5 with the equally difficult demands of family. To be sure, women face distinct challenges in the workplace and high expectations at home. But this Father's Day, let's not forget that dads are increasingly juggling work and home life, too. Single fatherhood is becoming more common in the US—a 2013 Pew report found that a record 8 percent of families with children were headed by a single dad—and 60 percent of households with children are dual-income as of 2014, putting added pressure on both working parents. While policies in the US do not mandate paid family leave of any kind—unlike parent-topia Sweden, which offers 16 months of paid parental leave and three months specifically for paternity leave—many companies are now thinking about how they can help their workers be "Employee of the Year," without sacrificing their "Dad of the Year" trophy. Here are ten excellent companies for working dads, based on a new report from parenting resource website Fatherly. 1. Google Photo: Creative Commons Headquarters: Mountain View, CA Number Of Employees: 53,600 Paid Paternity Leave: 7 weeks (12 weeks for primary caregiver) Industry: Tech Dad-friendly Policy Highlight: When you work with Google, your family is part of the family—really. If an employee passes away, the company provides his/her spouse with 50 percent of their salary for 10 years and immediately vested stock options, and children receive $1,000 a month until they turn 19 (or 23 if they're a student). 2. Facebook Photo: Creative Commons Headquarters: Menlo Park, CA Number Of Employees: 10,082 Paid Paternity Leave: 17 weeks Industry: Tech Policy Highlight: Procreating pays off. Facebook gives new parents a $4,000 "new child benefit," along with subsidized day care. Not to mention the $20,000 worth of supplemental insurance coverage for fertility and family planning treatments. 3. Bank of America Photo: Creative Commons Headquarters: Charlotte, NC Number Of Employees: 220,000 Paid Parental Leave: 12 weeks Industry: Finance Policy Highlight: Bank of America's twelve weeks of paid paternity leave is on par with countries likeIceland. Not too shabby. And, if you can handle the pay break, the company also allows for an additional 14 weeks of unpaid leave. 4. Patagonia Photo: Shutterstock Headquarters: Ventura, CA Number Of Employees: 2,000 Paid Paternity Leave: 8 weeks Industry: Retail Policy Highlight: Working parents don't have to stray far from their kids as Patagonia provides on-site child care for kids up to nine years old. The famously laid-back company will also provide afternoon transportation from local schools back to the office babysitter. 5. State Street Photo: Creative Commons Headquarters: Boston, MA Number Of Employees: 29,530 Paid Paternity Leave: 4 weeks Industry: Finance Policy Highlight: Flexible work arrangements are a must for the busy working dad (or mom). State Street's program helps take the stress out of setting up some work-from-home time by requiring their managers to approach their employees about flexible work options. 6. Genentech Photo: Creative Commons Headquarters: San Francisco, CA Number Of Employees: 14,000 Paid Paternity Leave: 6 weeks Industry: Biotech Policy Highlight: Along with dedicated paid paternity time, Genentech also offers a sabbatical program for long-term employees. Every six years, you earn six months of time off—perfect for a long summer trip with the kids. 7. LinkedIn Photo: Creative Commons Headquarters: Mountain View, CA Number Of Employees: 6,800 Paid Paternity Leave: 6 weeks Industry: Tech Policy Highlight: LinkedIn likes to encourage employees to think outside their cubicle and, in addition to "special projects" time once a month, you will get a $5,000 stipend for job-related education expenses. Maybe "Childcare 101" would qualify? 8. Arnold & Porter LLP Photo: Creative Commons Headquarters: Washington D.C. Number Of Employees: 1,284 Paid Paternity Leave: 6 weeks (18 for primary caregiver) Industry: Legal Policy Highlights: If your spouse or partner is gainfully employed and you'd like to trade some of those work hours for family time, Arnold and Porter allows employees working at least 25 hours to qualify for benefits. The firm even has an expert panel on hand to help their lawyers make the switch to part-time. 9. Roche Diagnostics Photo: Creative Commons Headquarters: Indianapolis, IN (North American HQ) Number Of Employees: 4,500 Paid Paternity Leave: 6 weeks Industry: Healthcare Policy Highlight: Roche employees have plenty of opportunities to teach Junior essential life lessons like how to swing a bat or grow a juicy tomato. The company spends $35,000 annually on sponsored extracurriculars like community sports leagues, and also offers an on-site employee produce garden. 10. PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) Photo: Creative Commons Headquarters: New York, NY Number Of Employees: 41,000 (U.S.) Paid Parental Leave: 6 weeks (plus an additional 2 weeks if have or adopt more than one kid) Industry: Professional Services Policy Highlight: Another company that values ad-hoc work schedules, PwC allows employees work-from-home options as well as ""Flex Days." So if you can cram 40 hours of work into less than five days and clear your schedule, you could end up with more frequent three-day weekends and more time with the kids. Photo: Shutterstock